The Honest Writer

Yesterday I read the details of a writer’s experiences over a few days when all went awry.  She wrote of e-mails carrying her newsletter not going through to readers, and then of her receipt of rejections from three agents. Yes, she wrote “…three agents.”  I was extremely touched at the writer’s honesty. Life’s not easy for me and I’m published.

This is not to say all is going bad in my life. Neither was all going terribly in this writer’s life.  But the travails of those recent days were emotionally harrowing. And I have had my share of downers so I could relate.
 
The writing life—the path of the writer/author, published or not—is one of conflict.  It is from our conflicts—bother inner and outer—that we write.  Question is, how much conflict is too much?

Sometimes I feel it is overwhelming.  I’m sure this writer felt the same during her days of hell, as she entitled them. For me the struggle is an inner one. The writer of the article was getting it from all around.
But my lot can always, has and will eventually change.

Change is the one constant upon which we can all depend—the ultimate transformation being death.
In a way the writer of the article went through a small death. I did too in reading her story.
It reminded me of all the times I have and did crawl in bed and pull the comforter over my head.

In that I am published and I have thoroughly enjoyed working with my publisher, I have much to be, and for which I am extremely grateful.  Yet the internal critic, the voice inside my head speeds on talking, mumbling, shouting and complaining.  Nothing is ever right, from the critic’s perspective. As a result I am forever stretching to attain perfection—both within and outside of me.
I am now reminded of the old saying, “Perfection is the enemy of good.”

I need to be working on my next novel.

Well perhaps I feel I should be.

Or rather I want to be.

But alas, I am tired.

Needs.

Should’s.

Want’s.

The mind has a way of blurring the boundaries separating the three.

After working with my publisher, who also happens to be my editor, and a good one at that, from January 2007- May 2007 to get my book ready to go to press—and then spending June until now on drumming up publicity—working this time working with the director of marketing, I want a break.  Again I am grateful for so much assistance from my publisher. At a time when most authors cannot call up their publisher and speak to the movers and shakers of the company, I am always well received when calling them.  I am truly grateful.

Yet, I’ve lost count of how many days I have sat down to my computer, and didn’t rise until 8 hours later.  I’ve had to learn the new rules of marketing and public relations over the internet.  I am told that where the two are separate entities in the old, pre-internet world of doing business, they have now merged.

It is work being a writer. We are called to task each day--whatever phase one is in as an author—novice attempting to refine her or his skills at crafting stories, writer with a story and trying to get an agent or publisher, newly published author, or seasoned writer published thrice time double thrice.

It was nice on this morning to turn on my computer and when checking my e-mails read this story of a writer’s struggles—a story filled with honesty to which many, if not all of us and on many days can and do attest.

Thank you, Hope, for your humility and honesty.

I pray I exhibit as much authenticity when my time rolls back around.

Read Hope Clarke’s story, Hope’s Hell, in Volume 7, Issue 38 September 23, 2007 at:

http://www.fundsfor writers.com/FFW.htm
While there check out her website: FundsforWriters